More bad news.

So, I didn't get the second U/S, the doctor made it clear that it wouldn't change anything. She just kept telling me how sorry she is that this is happening and asking if I'm okay. No, I am not okay. I'm not even a little okay. Then she told me something the Peri's office didn't happen to mention.

Velamentous cord insertion is an abnormal condition during pregnancy. Normally, the umbilical cord inserts into the middle of the placentaas it develops. In velamentous cord insertion, the umbilical cord inserts into the fetal membranes (choriamniotic membranes), then travels within the membranes to the placenta (between the amnion and the chorion). The exposed vessels are not protected by Wharton's jelly and hence are vulnerable to rupture. Rupture is especially likely if the vessels are near the cervix, in which case they may rupture in early labor, likely resulting in a stillbirth.

Early detection can reduce the need for emergency cesarean sections.^[1]

Now, not only do we have HRHS, but we also have velamentous cord insertion. This pregnancy just keeps getting  more and more complicated and risky.

I am so pathetic I asked if there is any way they could have me admitted to the hospital for monitoring of Isabella, she said no, they wouldn't even consider it.

So, here we are, she has a bad heart, we have a bad cord. The cord could be an issue at any time, especially during birth. It could lead to her being stillborn. The heart "shouldn't" be an issue until I have her. How do I keep my sanity through this? I've lost 3 more pounds since the Peri visit, which means I am 13 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight at this point.

Regular OB appointment today.

I have to wonder how it's going to go. I checked my "MyChart" to double check the time of the appointment, it's at 10am. However, while I was checking it, I noticed that they also have the results from the Peri now. I wonder if they're going to release me as a patient, or keep me. I am hoping, since Isabella has moved, that I can ask Dr. Greves very nicely to take another peak at her heart and send it over to the Peri.

During the initial scan the little one wouldn't move for her, but she's been kicking the stuff out of my left side today, which means she moved and maybe, just maybe they can get a better look at her heart. Maybe I am foolish being hopeful that a second look might tell a more hopeful story, but maybe I'm not. I know that in the position Bella was in, they were having problems getting a good image of the right side. Maybe, just maybe the new position will show something that is even a little bit better news.

So, my hopes are...

A. Dr. Greves will agree to and give a scan today at the appointment.
B. That there is good or at least better news concerning peanut's tiny heart.
C. Even *if* there isn't better news, I can better prepare myself and let go of that hope that the issue was position based.

I really think this will be a reasonable request and all I can do is pray that she will agree to try.

So, if you read this before my appointment, please pray that my hopes are granted, especially the better ones in the bunch.

It's been quiet

The past few days have been very worrisome for Beanie and I. I went in for a dating ultrasound and they couldn't find beanie at all. They ran a beta hCG test and it was apparently pretty low. 298,they had me half convinced that Beanie wasn't going to make it. However I had another appointment and a blood draw today to check the beta levels again and in less than 48 hours they doubled! That is great news and what you want from a healthy pregnancy.

So, now we wait, next week I have another beta and then another ultrasound. This one should show us a baby and give us a fairly accurate due date. Great news for the day.

So happy!