It's rare that the Doc freaks out and the mom is calm...

But it happened today. I was doing my own thing, cleaning up my room, just being a little more active than usual. Yes, I am on bedrest, but they allow for some things like going outside, showering and chilling in the common area for a bit.

Well I think cleaning my room today might have been a bit ambitious (they need to make a way for bedresting mommies to cope with the need to nest!) and caused me to have some minor contractions. Not enough to worry me, they weren't strong, but since they were regular they freaked the Peri on-call out. She had me moved up to L&D, put on magnesium sulfate again (this time for Bella's brain.) and has me now on non stop monitoring. Oh, she also told me no more eating and drinking. UHG! lol

So, here I am, 5 hours later. The contractions long gone, but I lost my antepartum room, I feel like poop and I am down right crabby after hearing other babies being born. I want to meet Bella, just not yet, and hearing others meeting their babies doesn't make my bedrest any easier.

I was finally settling into my room and accepting the fact that I am in the hospital for the long run and now this.  Well, I guess I can't say it hasn't been interesting! lol

It's sunny outside!!!

Oh I can't wait for breakfast to get here and for Steve to wake up. I want to go outside and feel the sun on my skin. I am so excited about it, that I have to wonder if my recent bout with depression was really nothing more than SAD (seasonal affective disorder), it seems to make sense. We'll see.

I am officially off of all hospital given meds now. No antibiotics, no tocolytics (stop labor) and no steroids (to help Bella's lungs mature). It seems that watching me like a hawk is beginning to be the key. If there are any signs of change in anything I need to let them know right away. I am guessing this is to help prevent/detect infection, which is the biggest risk to both Bella and I from this point on. At least as far as pregnancy is concerned.

This has got to be the hardest waiting game I've EVER played. I have no idea what will happen, when it will happen or how it will happen. I know some basic stats, I had an 80% chance of having her within the first week post water breaking. Each week thereafter gives me a 50% chance of delivery.

Also, thank God for ChapStick... it's dry in here.

Well used and loved. <3 my ChapStick.

As of 8:45 p.m.

It's been one full week since my water broke. I went immediately to Mercy, explained the situation with Bella's heart and that my water was broken. I was swarmed by nurses, an ambulance was called and I was transferred down here, to Abbott, sirens, speeding and all.

The week itself seemed to drag on as it went, I swear hospitals are like some weird time sucking machines, but looking back, it seems as if it flew by. I wish the same could be said for the time as it passed lol!

I can't wait to meet my little Bella baby, it feels as if she and I have been through a lifetime worth of journey already. Like I know her and I miss her and I am anxiously awaiting her coming to finally meet me.

As she was last week, she is once again laying in a transverse position rather than head down. However, I sincerely hope she flips head down. Natural birth is going to be the best option for both of us vs. a c-section as far as health and healing is concerned.

I want to sleep so badly. :(

I just can't seem do it. Well, I can, but not for longer than an hour at a time, 3 max if I really roll over and try to stay asleep. It's wearing on me badly. They of course offer me meds to help me sleep, but it all leaves me feeling drugged and hung over the next day, which I can't stand.

I thought for sure getting the IVs out, no more steroids, no more mag and I'd be sleeping like a baby. Apparently not so. I don't seem to be uncomfortable in any specific way, aside from maybe wishing I had a humidifier, my nose is NOT loving the dry hospital air.

I took a nice hot shower last night as soon as my IVs came off, granted I had to glove the one arm with the saline lock in it, but that isn't a big deal either way and I didn't have to sleep with it gloved. I don't think insulin would mess with my sleep, thats a naturally occurring chemical, so I just don't know.

The nurse was just in and suggests I get on a schedule. O.o yes, I'll get right on that, wasn't that you waking me up at 3am to force antibiotic pills down my throat? lol But I digress...

So, really there isn't much update wise, the mag is stopped, my body is "functional" again, for those who have been on Magnesium Sulfate, you know what I mean, for others, it's probably a bit TMI. lol Maybe having no idea when I might go into labor is making it hard to relax as well.

I am willing to take *any* hints or tips from y'all who might know how to get through. I didn't have this issue when I had PTL at 22 weeks. Okay, this post is feeling like whining, I'm sorry!

We'll see what the doc on rounds says this morning I have 3 questions written down all ready to ask. Hopefully I will have some answers next time I post.

I did get one answer this morning, I am here for the duration, no matter how long that is. Yes, this makes me a sad panda, but I'll do whatever I have to do for my baby girl. It *does* sound like I will not be going beyond 34 weeks with the fact that my water is broken. That means that it shouldn't be more than 5 weeks. No wonder I can't sleep.

One of the architectural designs at night.

29 weeks 2 days - Evening update

Got my IV replaced a bit ago, the other was killing me. The new one is MUCH better at 10:30 they stop the mag, so we'll see if I go into labor at that point. I'm not sure how long it actually takes the mag to wear off, but she's back to head down and face back, ready for delivery. (I sincerely hope she stays that way or she'll be a c-section.)

At this point they wont try anything to stop it, it just is what it is and we'll go with that. I am content and taking solace in the fact that I was able to carry her at least 47 days past my first very scary preterm labor bout. I know that might sound wrong, but they have done everything they can to give her the best possible chance when she is born, whether it's today or in the next week. I am going to trust in that to get me though with as little stress as possible.

I love this baby girl and I'll do anything for her, but some things just aren't in my hands so I am trusting in faith at this point.

Possible labor

At about 10:30ish I've started spotting and have lower back pain. It may be the start of labor, it might just be something that goes along with having pPROM. I'm not sure as this is my first time with this specific situation.

So, I guess it's more wait and see. Either way, I thought I'd give at least some update. :)

Oh, I also just received my second steroid shot for Bella... so, that is it for those. IF I understood correctly the shots are most effective within 48 hours of the second shot? I am going to have to look that up online to be sure. I'll edit the post when I have what I believe is the correct information.

Oh so much fun!

In the hospital, water broken (AKA pPROM or preterm premature rupture of membranes) just 4 hours short of 24 hours now. Getting steroids on board again for Isabella's lungs, as well as magnesium sulfate to help prevent a brain bleed and cerebral palsy.

We are at 29 weeks 1 day now. By 29 weeks and 2 days we will have both steroid shots on board the needed doses of mag only another 28 hours of mag. This stuff is HORRID!

So, waiting, watching, hoping, praying, trying to relax, trying to be calm, and trying to believe that faith will bring the healthiest Isabella possible. The tiny little girl who I hope will grow and thrive despite it all and be a shining example to others diagnosed with HRHS.

We can't always get what we want, but when we try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. With all the loss I've been through and experienced in life already... I need a sweet Bella to add even more light and love in our lives.