It's sunny outside!!!

Oh I can't wait for breakfast to get here and for Steve to wake up. I want to go outside and feel the sun on my skin. I am so excited about it, that I have to wonder if my recent bout with depression was really nothing more than SAD (seasonal affective disorder), it seems to make sense. We'll see.

I am officially off of all hospital given meds now. No antibiotics, no tocolytics (stop labor) and no steroids (to help Bella's lungs mature). It seems that watching me like a hawk is beginning to be the key. If there are any signs of change in anything I need to let them know right away. I am guessing this is to help prevent/detect infection, which is the biggest risk to both Bella and I from this point on. At least as far as pregnancy is concerned.

This has got to be the hardest waiting game I've EVER played. I have no idea what will happen, when it will happen or how it will happen. I know some basic stats, I had an 80% chance of having her within the first week post water breaking. Each week thereafter gives me a 50% chance of delivery.

Also, thank God for ChapStick... it's dry in here.

Well used and loved. <3 my ChapStick.

4 days!

4 days post water break and I am still pregnant! I also got a decent night of sleep, so my spirits are up. (Sorry about last night's whine fest)

I met Dr. Nye this morning who is "SO excited to see me STILL pregnant!" lol she cracked me up. She was seriously great, I'm surprised this is the first time I get to meet her. Also I was able to go all night without too much leaking, hopefully Bella will be happily surrounded by fluid once again.

I still cannot fathom being here for weeks, but I think it's okay to just take it a day at a time for now. That's about all I can handle. Bedrest sucks hospital bedrest sucks more. Also, trying to feed my helper is hard... do I go without some of my meal or how do I feed him?

One final word... bored! lol

I'll update more later. :)

29 weeks 2 days - Evening update

Got my IV replaced a bit ago, the other was killing me. The new one is MUCH better at 10:30 they stop the mag, so we'll see if I go into labor at that point. I'm not sure how long it actually takes the mag to wear off, but she's back to head down and face back, ready for delivery. (I sincerely hope she stays that way or she'll be a c-section.)

At this point they wont try anything to stop it, it just is what it is and we'll go with that. I am content and taking solace in the fact that I was able to carry her at least 47 days past my first very scary preterm labor bout. I know that might sound wrong, but they have done everything they can to give her the best possible chance when she is born, whether it's today or in the next week. I am going to trust in that to get me though with as little stress as possible.

I love this baby girl and I'll do anything for her, but some things just aren't in my hands so I am trusting in faith at this point.

Well, I slept for a bit.

From my last post until now, off and on, I was able to sleep for a bit. I am so tired. :(

29 weeks *2* days!

Not much change, I am still spotting. My back hurts again, but I think there are other reasons for that ::eyes the bed:: and I just can't seem to stop peeing... ::eyes the IV fluids:: Oh, and one more thing... when I go to roll over at night, this thing (which has been growing for months I might add) just keeps getting in the way. I thought it might be something I ate, but nope, they tell me that is where the cutie is!

No, not cootie... cutie!  See? That photo over there? That is where I keep my Bella still! Safe, warm and growing more and more each day. Soon we will meet, but the time hasn't come quite yet.  She's a smart cookie who is giving the medicines time to work. I'm proud of my Bella girl. I am very excited to meet her, but I know she's is worth the wait.


(This post was written in a Bella friendly reading format, but it also lets you know, I am still pregnant. 29, 2 and counting.)

Oh so much fun!

In the hospital, water broken (AKA pPROM or preterm premature rupture of membranes) just 4 hours short of 24 hours now. Getting steroids on board again for Isabella's lungs, as well as magnesium sulfate to help prevent a brain bleed and cerebral palsy.

We are at 29 weeks 1 day now. By 29 weeks and 2 days we will have both steroid shots on board the needed doses of mag only another 28 hours of mag. This stuff is HORRID!

So, waiting, watching, hoping, praying, trying to relax, trying to be calm, and trying to believe that faith will bring the healthiest Isabella possible. The tiny little girl who I hope will grow and thrive despite it all and be a shining example to others diagnosed with HRHS.

We can't always get what we want, but when we try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. With all the loss I've been through and experienced in life already... I need a sweet Bella to add even more light and love in our lives.

27 weeks!

It's not easy, but I've made it this far and plan to keep going! I'll find out Thursday for sure, but generally this week baby is 2.5 lbs, which means that she is half way to her goal weight! What a difference just 31 days make! From 1 lb 3 oz to 2 lb 8 oz (Give or take like I said above.) And from head to toes, she's now 15 inches long! Getting close. Hoping to make it another 8 weeks if possible, maybe even 10... we'll see how I do, but I am certainly trying!

So, here is the belly pic for the week. I have no idea if I am bigger or not... but it's here either way! <3

Preterm labor...

I almost forgot how scary and not fun this is. I haven't been able to do a whole lot that requires much typing lately because I have to be laying down at no more than a 15% incline. It's really hard to type that way. I will however compile a nice post that is a record of the days from Friday through... well through whenever I can sit up and type longer.

Bed rest of this magnitude is hard. I can only get up to use the restroom and that is it. No walks, no grabbing a drink, no getting fresh air.

I did sneak a snap of my 23 week belly pic, it's a day early but I had a good chance of getting a quick shot and I have been without contractions so I thought it'd be best to do it while I thought it was safest.

Yes my hair is in braids, blah, but with long hair, bed rest and no shower... well you know. I did get my very first sponge bath last night though... that was, different... Although the hair wash they did, was like the salon, oh it was SOOOOOO nice. ::sigh::