I don't think I've ever felt so pregnant.

Being so hyper aware of every little thing with this pregnancy has made it seem like I've been pregnant a lifetime. I honestly don't remember any pregnancy putting me through my paces like this one is. Once again, I wouldn't change it for anything. Maybe if I could just sleep and nap better, but as anyone who has ever been in the hospital knows, those things are just not so easy to do.

I can't remember if I updated or not, but I am back to 4 injects of insulin a day now. Those are fun. I also have 7 glucose checks a day. It's enough to make my head spin. I am however glad I have Dr. Mulmed to guide me through the changes and watch over them. He's one of the best things to come out of this hospital stay.

I am so blessed!

So today was boring, until mom showed up with Cheyenne, Blake and Emma in tow. It was SO nice to see *most* of my kids and of course being the day before Mother's day I got cards, gifts and lots of love. It was also a day of pretty cool moments. Isabella was feeling feisty today and kicking like crazy. Everyone got a turn to get kicked, however, Chey got the first and the biggest kick, it brought tears to her eyes instantly. As a mom, that was a very special moment to witness. One more reminder of why I am so willing to go through all of this. I am a lucky mom and daughter. On top of the nice feeling of receiving gifts, my hospital room now has a very cheery spot in it and some wonderful family memories! I can't wait to wake up tomorrow morning and look over at the cards, gifts and flowers and simply think about today.

Let's see... pregnancy wise... I am 30 weeks 5 days today and I've been in the hospital for 12 days. Getting really close to 31 weeks! I did have the opportunity to go over the "NICU Book" that they provide on this floor to help prepare families for babies that need extra help. I was able to go through it with the kids and show them what they might see when visiting Bella for the first little while.  (The while of course depending on how long I am able to go without labor. Her outcome looks brighter every minute of every hour of every day I am able to continue carrying her.

So, my overall outlook is a little brighter, my overall mood is a little better and I still anxiously await the passing of time to properly greet this newest blessing in our lives.

11 days (and counting?)

It's been 11 days since my water broke and we're still hanging in there. 11 days in the hospital for me means 33 fewer days in the NICU for Isabella. Sounds like a darn good trade off to me. Granted I'm miserable and this is the last place I want to be stuck on Mother's Day, but I'll do anything I can to help Bella at birth. (I know, I've said that a lot. But it helps reassure me that I am doing the right things and all I can to help her. I'm only human.)

I requested an U/S to see how much this little one weighs now and got the same answer as I did 11 days ago. It's too soon for another U/S... really? I haven't had one since 27 weeks, and I am now at 30 weeks 4 days... do 3 days make the difference? What makes the difference? It's frustrating! It's not like I am asking them to do surgery or something invasive. I am simply wanting to know where we're at and how Bella is doing with the lack of fluid. Yes, they do 2 NSTs a day, but that doesn't tell us if and how well she's growing.

I must be in an "off" color mood today, I haven't even taken my belly pic yet. I will of course take one... but it's already so late lol!

32 weeks, I can make it...

I think, I hope, I pray. Right now it seems VERY far off, however, considering yesterday the peri thinks I will be lucky to make it that far. I am starting to agree and hoping the steroids and the mag have done what they need to and can do. I also hope that since my body has such a big lead in time (my water broke 10 days ago) that it has done what it can to get Bella ready for birth.

My blood sugars are all over the place now, without the steroids influence, so I am monitoring blood sugars even more carefully and using insulin on an almost regular basis. I haven't seen the Endo yet today, but I am guessing he's going to put me on something for my fasting numbers in addition to the 4 units he has me taking with supper.

There isn't much else going on. I am still dealing with some of the side effects from the mag. I *hate* that stuff and it sounds like anytime I go into labor I get a big mag push again, even if it's close like yesterday's was. (They really need to further the research on how far out the mag works for preventing cerebral palsy and brain bleeds because that stuff is horrible.)

Anyhow... 10 days down... 11 to go. I am almost half way to my goal I am nowhere near the goal the peri has for me though lol. One day at a time!

I hope it's another sunny day, I missed the last one

After spending almost all of yesterday in labor and delivery, feeling icky on magnesium sulfate, I really hope I can enjoy today.

I had 2 room moves last night, it was crazy. In addition, I got the last antepartum room when I got back to 5th floor from 6th! The maternity area is SO busy the past few days, they had to open up an older part of this floor for overflow postpartum moms and babies.

I am very happy that we didn't meet Bella quite yet. I really would like to make it to at least 32 weeks. There is such a huge difference between 30 and 32, today puts me at 30 weeks and 3 days. so if I can hang on for 11 more days I'll be happy. Ish, even putting it into days it still feels like a daunting task. I can do it though, at least, I can do my best to do it. Ultimately I know I really have no say in the matter. (Okay, confession time... after seeing #Maythe4thbewithyou trending on twitter, I really didn't want to have her on May 4th...)

Long sleeve onesies, a 4 pack of mittens and the sweetest little outfit. 

Oh oh oh! Grandma came to visit last night and she brought goodies that she and big sister Cheyenne picked out! Sooooooo cute! I took pics of course. :D And the one little outfit, you'll see, has a little monkey on the butt. I about died! I'll tell you which one. I might actually have to take pics of the front and back of that one...

3 little sleepers. The monkey one says "kisses from mommy"

Lots of little hats, some little pants to go with onsies and the monkey butt outfit!

The softest blankie ever and the first pack of receiving blankets. 

Views

I have had so many different ones since I've been here, but I haven't posted any of them. It's about time to rectify that darn it! lol

So let's see. The room I was in for the past week until this morning I saw...

My current room...

And.. who knows where I will be next.

It's rare that the Doc freaks out and the mom is calm...

But it happened today. I was doing my own thing, cleaning up my room, just being a little more active than usual. Yes, I am on bedrest, but they allow for some things like going outside, showering and chilling in the common area for a bit.

Well I think cleaning my room today might have been a bit ambitious (they need to make a way for bedresting mommies to cope with the need to nest!) and caused me to have some minor contractions. Not enough to worry me, they weren't strong, but since they were regular they freaked the Peri on-call out. She had me moved up to L&D, put on magnesium sulfate again (this time for Bella's brain.) and has me now on non stop monitoring. Oh, she also told me no more eating and drinking. UHG! lol

So, here I am, 5 hours later. The contractions long gone, but I lost my antepartum room, I feel like poop and I am down right crabby after hearing other babies being born. I want to meet Bella, just not yet, and hearing others meeting their babies doesn't make my bedrest any easier.

I was finally settling into my room and accepting the fact that I am in the hospital for the long run and now this.  Well, I guess I can't say it hasn't been interesting! lol

Watching the Sunrise

I woke up this morning feeling even better than I did yesterday. Looking down... pregnant still? Yep. Looking outside seeing the blues, pinks and purples of the sky, looking forward to another sunny day. ::sigh:: Then I remember it's another sunny day... in the hospital.

Bella updates, not a whole lot. She's still hanging out in there, growing and hopefully getting ready for the world. She's been a tough cookie so far and both of her strips looked great yesterday. Her kicks are starting to get increasingly painful, which is great. The more they hurt, the stronger she is. (That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.) Last week my goal was to make it to 30 weeks. I managed that. My new goal is to make it to 32 weeks. I refuse to make goals any further out than that and I find reassurance in each hour, each day that passes with her still growing.

I do my morning things, quickly pop open my laptop and there is a message from mom. Emma had her first soccer practice ever last night and she did great. Talk about bitter sweet. I should have been there. I am fortunate that Grandma had the picture taking mindset or I'd have missed it completely. It looks like Emma enjoyed it, but I really don't know if she did or not. I haven't even gotten to talk to her yet after her practice. (Okay, falling into the poor me pit... climbing back out of that right now.) So, bitter sweet. I am THRILLED that Emma *finally* chose something to be a part of, we've been encouraging her for years.

Best number ever! <3 7 <3

So, as far as I know that is it for updates today. Less and less seems to be happening the longer I am here in the hospital. Exciting stuff I tell you! lol I do plan to request a growth scan for little miss Bella. I want to know how she's coming along and I don't think that is unreasonable. I know it can be off, but a general idea that she's thriving despite lack of fluid... I feel is reasonable.

Talking and dribbling. Ain't no thang.

Practice is tiring, need... a... drink! 

It's sunny outside!!!

Oh I can't wait for breakfast to get here and for Steve to wake up. I want to go outside and feel the sun on my skin. I am so excited about it, that I have to wonder if my recent bout with depression was really nothing more than SAD (seasonal affective disorder), it seems to make sense. We'll see.

I am officially off of all hospital given meds now. No antibiotics, no tocolytics (stop labor) and no steroids (to help Bella's lungs mature). It seems that watching me like a hawk is beginning to be the key. If there are any signs of change in anything I need to let them know right away. I am guessing this is to help prevent/detect infection, which is the biggest risk to both Bella and I from this point on. At least as far as pregnancy is concerned.

This has got to be the hardest waiting game I've EVER played. I have no idea what will happen, when it will happen or how it will happen. I know some basic stats, I had an 80% chance of having her within the first week post water breaking. Each week thereafter gives me a 50% chance of delivery.

Also, thank God for ChapStick... it's dry in here.

Well used and loved. <3 my ChapStick.