24 annnnd 25 weeks!

Since I wasn't able to post last week, well, I was probably able, just in a bedrest funk... this week I will post both this and last weeks belly pics so we don't have any missing! When Bella is born I am going to have her blog made into a book for her, she can't have missing pics though. :)

So, with that in mind I will post this weeks belly pic and then last weeks, as the posts do go newest to oldest... lol

Hmm, I am thinking it looks like my belly "dropped" in the past week. Could just be the shirt color difference though.

I am so tired of bedrest, which seems counter intuitive I know, but it's so very true. I am actually looking forward to my up coming appointments with docs and such. So very sad.

Bella's heart

Sorry, I know it's been a long time since I've posted. Bedrest is a lot tougher than it sounds and as I still have contractions from time to time, it's a bit uncomfortable to sit up and type for a nice full post. Actually, did I even make the 24 week post? I think I missed it. I know I snapped a quick pic, but I think I forgot to post.  I am so focused on Bella baby's heart and health overall and trying to give her the best possible chance, other things have slipped to the wayside.

Anyhow, I'm having a good bit where if I lay down she kicks and it hurts, so I thought I'd sit more upright and that's a good position for posting.

When we saw the pediatric cardiac specialist and had the more in-depth ultrasound and echo-cardiogram we were able to better see what exactly is wrong with her heart. I am going to do my best to give at least a general overview as it's very difficult to remember what you're hearing in this type of situation.

The overall diagnosis that the other's fit under is still HRHS... Hypoplastic Right Heart Syndrome

Beyond this, this is what they were able to see at the 23 week exam (Which happened early due to the preterm labor.)

Tricuspid atresia
Definition
By Mayo Clinic staff
Tricuspid atresia is a heart defect present at birth (congenital) in which one of the valves (tricuspid valve) between two of the heart's chambers isn't formed. Instead, there's solid tissue between the chambers.

If your baby is born with tricuspid atresia, blood can't flow through the heart and into the lungs to pick up oxygen as it normally would. The result is the lungs can't supply the rest of your baby's body with the oxygen it needs. Babies with tricuspid atresia tire easily, are often short of breath and have blue-tinged skin.

Tricuspid atresia is treated with surgery. Most babies with tricuspid atresia who have surgery will live well into adulthood, though follow-up surgeries are often needed.

 "Some" Pulmonary valve stenosis

Definition
By Mayo Clinic staff
Pulmonary valve stenosis is a condition in which the flow of blood from your heart to your lungs is slowed by a deformed pulmonary valve, or a deformity above or below the valve.

Adults occasionally have the condition as a complication of another illness, but most of the time, pulmonary valve stenosis develops before birth.

Pulmonary valve stenosis ranges from mild and without symptoms to severe and debilitating. Mild pulmonary stenosis doesn't usually worsen over time, but moderate and severe cases may get worse and require surgery. Fortunately, treatment is highly successful, and most people with pulmonary valve stenosis can expect to lead normal lives.

 Ventricular septal defect (VSD)

Definition
By Mayo Clinic staff
A ventricular septal defect (VSD), also called a hole in the heart, is a common heart defect that's present at birth (congenital).

A baby with a small ventricular septal defect may have no problems. A baby with a larger ventricular septal defect or associated heart defects may have a telltale bluish tint to the skin — due to oxygen-poor blood — often most visible in the lips and fingernails.

Fortunately, ventricular septal defect is readily treatable. Smaller ventricular septal defects often close on their own or don't cause problems. Others need surgical repair, sometimes not until the condition is first detected or symptoms first develop in adulthood. Many people with ventricular septal defects have normal, productive lives with few related problems.

 Okay and this one has a diagram, we'll see how it posts... I'm hoping well. lol

Congenital Heart Defects: Hypoplastic Right Ventricle

The right ventricle is small and weak because the tricuspid valve guiding the blood from the right atrium to the right ventricle did not open in the very early embryonic weeks of the baby's life, and so no blood came through to make the right ventricle grow. This condition is also called Hypoplastic Right Heart.

So, now you all know about as much as I know about little Bella's heart. Her heart is the reason it's SO imperative that I carry her as long as I possibly can. She must be at least 5 lbs before they can preform the required surgeries on her heart. They will do 3 separate surgeries, called (in order) Stage 1 (around time of birth), Glenn Procedure (around 3 months old) and the Fontan procedure (at age 5).

The Fontan procedure is the longest and most complicated. They said she has about a 70% chance of making it to or past age 5, but some people with these issues have lived into their 50's. I think my Bella will be one of those. I am giving her all of my fighting spirit that I can, I am hoping, praying and wishing for her to have strength.

Okay, I should lay my happy butt down again. I'll be darned if I am not keeping this baby in as long as I can.

To our readers, thank you for being here, for caring, for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep it up, because they work, I have faith that they work.

Much love

Chele and Bella

New U/S pics!

In lieu of a big post as I am still not supposed to sit up that long I took some photos with my phone (sorry no scanner here) and cropped up some new U/S pics from yesterday's U/S. The epic post will wait and see how I do on the lower doses of the medications and such.

She waved and showed us her whole hand. This is my favorite pic.

 

 

 

Her profile is so precious. I love her so much.

So, there is a ton o updating to do and I'm sorry it's taking me so long to get it all posted, but for now, Bella is my biggest concern. I sincerely doubt I am going to forget any details, even if I wanted to. So an full recount of events will be posted and maybe help people have a better understanding. <3

Okay, the hospital is good but....

I need to vent.

One hand never seems to know what the other is doing. Upon admission it was made clear that the goal for the weekend was to focus on stopping my labor and nothing else. Then, Monday everything was going to get busy. That I would be meeting with at least 3 different specialists today and start getting all the information gathered for me, for Bella and to form the "big picture".

We need to know what is going on with her heart, we need to know how good or bad it is. We need to know the risks and possible outcomes. After going through this weekend from hell to try to make sure she has a chance. I need that big picture. I need to know the facts.

First steroid shot done!

Bella baby's lungs are that much closer to being functional at birth. We have another steroid injection in about 19 hours. Between now and then we have a barrage of appointments that will let us know a LOT more of the "full picture" than we do now. The neonatal specialist as well as the peds cardiac doc are HUGE pieces of the puzzle. Between those two and the peri we can start piecing together this puzzle that I hope results in a healthy and happy Bella baby.

I am also hoping to get moved down to the antepartum floor today with the rest of the bedresting moms to be. It was one thing hoping to make it days, and I am still hoping to make it weeks, but I know the docs are hoping for months and I just can't think that far ahead right now. It's too overwhelming. I am away from everything I have, my kids, everything.and oh my gosh I miss my bed too! And being able to eat when I want and what I want (within my GD restrictions.) as it is I am sitting here counting down the time until I can even place my breakfast order. 1.5 hours and then another 45 minutes beyond that for it to get here. UHG!

I can do this, I can do this. I know I can, I'm strong! (Man I wish I could take small walks)

Preterm labor...

I almost forgot how scary and not fun this is. I haven't been able to do a whole lot that requires much typing lately because I have to be laying down at no more than a 15% incline. It's really hard to type that way. I will however compile a nice post that is a record of the days from Friday through... well through whenever I can sit up and type longer.

Bed rest of this magnitude is hard. I can only get up to use the restroom and that is it. No walks, no grabbing a drink, no getting fresh air.

I did sneak a snap of my 23 week belly pic, it's a day early but I had a good chance of getting a quick shot and I have been without contractions so I thought it'd be best to do it while I thought it was safest.

Yes my hair is in braids, blah, but with long hair, bed rest and no shower... well you know. I did get my very first sponge bath last night though... that was, different... Although the hair wash they did, was like the salon, oh it was SOOOOOO nice. ::sigh::

8.9 magnitude earthquake and ensuing tsunamis

Our thoughts and prayers go out to ALL who are, have been or will be effected by these events. For those not yet hit, please heed the warnings and get to safety as soon as you can.

Japan was rocked by a 8.9 magnitude earthquake last night and as it was off shore, with shallow quakes, tsunamis are always a possibility. I hope our West coast has some sort of warning system to wake people if need be.


(Disclaimer)Yes, Isabella is blissfully unaware of these moments right now. But as this is a record of her pregnancy, I am recording the event for her.

Sometimes the hardest thing to hear...

Is I'm sorry. If I tell someone about Isabella's heart condition, I can hear the words before they're even spoken. And while I know full well, that those words are meant to comfort, support, love, it doesn't make it any easier to hear. I know without a doubt that it isn't said maliciously. I just want to make that clear.

From my side of things, I'm sorry sounds like the worst case scenario outcome. I'm sorry sounds like people don't think Bella baby will make it. And I once again, know that isn't the intention.

How do I get used to hearing it? How do I hear it and not break down and cry? How do I hear it and take it in for the strength behind the words, the meaning that they really have in mind? Why on earth is it so hard to hear two simple words that I know are well meant?

I struggle each day with what Bella will likely have to endure to live even a semi normal life. I struggle with decisions I know I may have to make. I struggle to just not focus on it and become consumed with despair. But for some reason hearing I'm sorry makes it feel like that is exactly what I should do.

I've seen two babies lost to CHDs. Justin, my nephew passed at 6 months old. He'd be 15 now, I believe, had he survived. And more recently Lynnea passed away from complications from a similar heart defect, HLHS. Both of these sweet innocent babies were the first thing I pictured when the Peri told us there is something wrong with her heart.

I know this journey will be just that. I know it wont be peaches and cream and I know that both Bella and I are going to have a fight on our hands. But I trust that we're going to be strong enough to tackle this head on. I want so badly for Bella to be a success story for HRHS and I believe in all my heart that she can be. I'm doing all I can to pass her the fighting spirit that has carried me through life thus far. If she has that, I know she can be strong.

I'm sorry this post is so long (look at that, I said those words!) and if you read it this far, I'm impressed. Please don't tell me you're sorry. Please just keep this little one in your thoughts and your prayers if you pray. Every little bit helps.

Happy Birthday, Papa!!!

I can't believe I almost forgot to post this today! It would have been a travesty to miss Papa's 63rd birthday! (Golly he's old!)

So, Happy birthday Papa! From your girls in Anoka! Emma, Bella and their mommy! We love you!

Facebook or Blogger....

One of the two is being a stinker and not letting my post my last post...

::eyes both companies/programs:: 

I'll try to share this... which might point you to the other... otherwise just click on the header (Where it says Mine to Hold) and that will bring you to the main page where you can see the post I am actually *trying* to share... Assuming sharing this post works!

Uhg 5 month sickness?

It looks like I have no choice but to eat smaller meals at this point. Not that I was particularly fond of large meals. But it looks like I am to that point where my gag reflex kicks in much easier. It happened about this time when I was pregnant with Emma too. But if I eat "too much" I either get the hiccups quite bad, or I vomit... not a lot, just whatever my stomach feels didn't fit.

So, the two low carb waffles and fat free cottage cheese I had for breakfast this morning, proved to be too much. Joy!?! It's the strangest thing though, it has to be my stomach being crowded or something because it happened with Emma and it's happening now. I should have known with the hiccups I have had for the past week, but it just seems so odd to me.

Anyhow, that is our exciting news for the day. I think I'm finally ready to try eating again. lol uhg.

17p week 5 and I gained almost a pound!

Another NEW nurse, however this one was a pincher, not a jabber. So, score one point for her. When she pinched I even made sure to praise her lol. Granted I will probably never see her again, but, the next woman will appreciate it.

The good news is (in my opinion) I am up .7 of a lb since last week. Granted I had to eat a lot more to get there... and I don't think I want to continue that, but I think it's reassuring that I *can* actually gain weight. I think now if I continue to lose it wont be quite so scary for me.

Anyhow, only 11 more injections, unless the peri decides against them. I believe the plan is to stop them around 34 weeks and the goal is to have baby right around 36 - 37 weeks. Then again with the HRHS I might find out differently, but I am somehow doubting that.

SoftBums!

I was so happy. I was reading yet another cloth diapering website and since I long ago made the choice to use SoftBums exclusively it's nice because everything I read, every site I go to raves about them. Here is a review I found this morning.

All-In-Twos (AI2s) A waterproof material for the outside forms a cover over an insert (the trifolded prefolds with a diaper cover would be considered an AI2). Some have a snap to keep an absorbent liner in place.

 

Pros: This method is great because you can reuse the cover (as long as it is not soiled) and just switch out the insert. Drying is quick since the absorbent part of the diaper is a separate piece. This makes for a pretty inexpensive yet convenient diapering solution.

Cons: For newborns with explosive runny poos, you need to have extra covers on hand since the covers will get soiled more often.

Examples: SoftBums Echo, SoftBums Omni

Needless to say I LOVE to read how great the diapers are. Originally I chose the Echo, because they're more affordable and you can buy them in pre-made "packs" at a discount. But I think if I buy any singles to add to the collection they'll be Omni's for sure. Especially the Miss Kitty print. I LOVE it!

Oh and an added bonus? The SoftBums are made and sold by a mom local to me, I love the idea of supporting someone so close!

Just thought I'd share. :D

Holy buckets!

I can't believe it. I would have to say I am as big with Bella as I was with Emma if not bigger and I still have 9 weeks to go to get to the point I was at with Emma! I wish the angles were better, but I *think* it's fairly obvious still. Amazing...

22 weeks!

It's amazing. 22 weeks down, 14 to go, assuming we stay with the plan of having her between 36 and 37 weeks which was the original plan. Freaking out yet? Maybe a little! lol

Of course I have the weekly belly pic... and yes, I just happen to have the same shirt on today as I did Friday. Sue me. :p It's super soft and very comfortable.

So we're down to 10 days until we have the appointment with the pediatric cardiologist. I think this is going to be a rough week, especially as we get closer to the appointment time. I am hoping for the best possible news, but I am preparing for the worst. Tough to do!

Wow, looking at that belly pic, I am really getting huge. I wonder if I'll get much bigger before I have her. I found a pic of me from when I was 31 weeks pregnant with Emma... hmm. Maybe I'll have to make a side by side comparison! I wish I had been more regular about taking belly pics with Emma, but for whatever reason I just wasn't. Could be that at 20 weeks with her we found out about the chorioangioma. Ah, to have a stress free pregnancy. I forget what that's like.

Oh, and I haven't posted one of these in a while. I think it's fun to read about what she's doing in there each week, you may or may not... but here is What to Expect When You're Expecting has to say about her this week...

Your Baby in Week 22 of Pregnancy This week, your baby weighs in at a whopping pound and measures nearly eight inches, about the size of a small doll. But your little doll (who now has eyebrows, eyelashes, and maybe even some hair on that little head) is a living one who can now perceive light and dark. She can also hear your voice, your heartbeat, your gurgling stomach, and the whoosh-whoosh of blood circulating through your body. And as her brain and nerve endings develop, she may reach for her face (or whatever she can reach) just to experiment with her newfound sense of touch.

Awe, I have a little Bella baby doll in there. She packs one heck of a kick now though! Both Jim and Steve have now felt her kick from the outside. Further validation of, who knows what, but it makes me feel good. I can't help but think she's getting stronger and stronger with every kick and that when it comes time to address her HRHS, she'll be that much better off for it.

Okay, I am off to make that comparison picture! If it's interesting in any way, I'll probably share it.

Woohoo kicks!

Isabella kicked Stephen's hand! Someone aside from me has officially felt her kick! It's like some weird pregnancy validation for me. Why? I don't know... I am an odd duck?

How I was sitting I could see her kicks so I *knew* it could be felt by someone else. Poor Steve had to be the closest to me and I am sure he anticipated another 10 minute... "Just wait you'll feel her kick!" session, but almost as soon as he set his hand on my belly she kicked him once and then rolled away as if she were satisfied rofl.

I love this little one sooooooo much!

It's a jammies kind of day...

Up and dressed by 7 as usual... did my Saturday thing, which is pretty much nothing. Thought I'd hop in the tub and relax these braxton hicks away and just didn't seem to want to get dressed again. Bring on the jammies I bought at Target the other day.

Quite comfy even if I do say so myself too. :)

Random belly pic...

Just because.

I shouldn't have started!

Now I have the shopping bug big time. Well, maybe it's more of a nesting thing. I so badly want to be ready for this baby when she comes. Assuming things go as planned then I will be having her at 36 weeks... making the time left less than 15 weeks... eek!

There is no way I am going to be ready in 15 weeks! Yikes. Well, if I focus on the basics I should be close enough. I do already feel better with what I have so far... I just feel that I need more now. >.< I want to have the girls room ready already.

That's normal... right? lol

Better late than never?

I know I said I'd post pics of the stuff I got yesterday. Poor Emma has been feeling so crappy that I really haven't had time to do much else. So, when she jumped in the tub for a quick bubble bath I thought I'd snap the pics. They're not great, but they're pics lol. Anyhow, here is the stuff I bought for Isabella yesterday on my Target excursion.

Sleeper/Rocker, it's actually quite cute.

First bottle (It was on clearance!)

Sleepers and matching caps

The little footies were too cute!

Onesies and little matching pants

Little bibs... couldn't help it.

For when she's bigger of course.

Finally a bonus for being pregnant!

Okay, so I hardly scratched the surface of what we need, but it's a start. <3 She's going to be a take home baby, I can feel it.

I was naughty today...

I went shopping, with money I have, but really shouldn't spend...

I bought some sleepers, some onesies, some little hats, some little pants, a Jenny Jump Up (apparently if it's pink it's Jenny not Johnny) and a Rock and Play Sleeper. Just some of the very basics from my wishlist of things to have for her.

I know, she wont be here for another 15 weeks... however, now I have some things for her. Now I have a place for her to sleep, (not a crib yet, but it'll do if I can't get one right away) things for her to wear... Heart problems or not, I am going to do everything I can to bring this little girl home and I am going to keep the faith that I will be able to bring her home. I realize I may have to wait until after surgeries and several other things. But I am not giving up and I know she wont either.

I'll post pics of the goodies in a bit, I am going to see how my Emma is feeling, she came home early from school sick.

17p week 5 and 16 lbs of weight lost...

A new nurse today, but she was good as well. Must have just been the one nurse the other day. Icing my bum now, which thus far has worked to keep the swelling down in previous weeks. We'll see how side effects go this week. It seems I am adjusting to them slowly but surely.

The big news though is I have lost 6 lbs of weight this week alone, which now puts me at 16 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. I am finding this more and more disconcerting. I actually requested to get on the scale today, which as any woman knows, that just doesn't happen. Since the OB last week was not worried about my weight loss I am going to see if I can get into the Peri again I think. 10 lbs was one thing, when it was 13 I started to worry a bit, but now at 16 lbs, 6 of which are in the past 7 days? Yeah I am worrying a bit to say the least.